


Missed Calls

by suncherry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Therapy is mentioned, akaashi breaks down, akaashi gets angry but it’s brief and not described, unhealthy coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26872822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncherry/pseuds/suncherry
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Missed Calls

“Hey Hey Hey! It’s Bokuto! If you’re listening to this then im probably busy! Call me back or send a text, I’m better at replying to those! See ya!”

Akaashi keeps the phone to his ear as the familiar voice is overtaken by the automated robot asking to leave a message.

Akaashi grinds his teeth, taking the phone away and hanging up as quickly as he could. His chest stung. 

Why does he still try? He knows Bokuto won’t pick up but yet he still calls. He still calls at 3 in the morning when he can’t sleep. He still calls after a hard day at work. He still calls when he has some drama to spew about. But there’s never an answer. 

And there never will be. 

Akaashi raises his phone to his ear again, closing his burning eyes and calling Bokuto one more time. 

“Hey hey hey!”

—

Akaashi stares at the ceiling, his jeans stained with mud and grass. His hair was wet and sticking uncomfortably to his forehead and neck. His eyes were trained heavily on the glow in the dark stars above his head. Ones that Bokuto begged to get when they moved in together. 

Akaashi closes his eyes, sliding his phone to his ear. The lump in his throat growing painful. 

“Hey hey hey! It’s Bokuto! If you’re listening to this then im probably busy! Call me back or send a text, I’m better at replying to those! See ya!”

The automated robot tells him to leave a message.

And this time he does. 

“I miss you.” Akaashi let’s out a trembling breath he hadn’t noticed he took in. “I’ve missed you for weeks—for months. I forget how lo-long you’ve been gone. Days are going by so s-slow and fast at the same time and it’s hard to keep up.” Akaashi whispers into the phone. He pauses, swallowing a cry building up in his chest. “I visited today.”

“It was raining and I forgot the umbrella so now the bed is soaking but at this point i don’t care.” Akaashi’s lip trembles. “God, I miss you. You have no idea how much sleep I’ve lost.” Akaashi’s voice cracked, he clears his throat. “I know I’m making myself sick but I just,” He pauses, biting his lip. “I-I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you again. They used a great picture by the way. The one where you were celebrating a win and had the biggest smile on your face.” 

Akaashi smiles at the memory. “It was two years ago, a-at that one nasty bar you always liked to go to. It smelled like piss and old hay, yet you always told me ‘Keiji! It’s what makes it unique!’ ‘Still don’t understand it.” Akaashi explains. He’s quiet for a moment. 

“Sometimes.” He swallows. “Sometimes, I forget you’re not here anymore a-and I reach to grab at you in the middle of the night but end up grabbing nothing but cold air...” Akaashi looks over at Bokuto’s side of the bed. “I’ve started to put your old sweatshirts over there so I could still feel like you were here to help me through the nightmares.” Akaashi’s eyes fill with tears, his free hand gripping the white and gold hoodie he placed there last night. 

He tugs it to his chest. “They don’t smell like you anymore... so, it never really works the same...”

Akaashi is silent, the weight in his chest feeling less heavy as he talked. He decided he would do this more often. It felt good to feel like someone was listening even if no one was. 

As Akaashi opened his mouth to say more, a beep enters his ear and the automated message says he ran out of time. 

He grinds his teeth, tossing his phone away from him and hugging the hoodie close to his chest. He lets the tears slip from his eyes as holds one of the only things he had left of his lover. 

——

“Hey hey hey! It’s Bokuto! If you’re listening to this then im probably busy! Call me back or send a text, I’m better at replying to those! See ya!”

“I spoke to Kuroo again. Finally. He kept bringing you up out of instinct. Did I really talk about you that much? To where people would expect me to bring you up in conversation every time I talk? I didn’t realize how much I really did talk about you until I couldn’t anymore.”

——

“I don’t know how many of these voicemails are being sent. I kinda feel bad for whoever has your phone and has to see me calling every night. It just feels good to talk... maybe I should get a therapist.” 

——

“The therapist lady said I should try to stop leaving voicemails because it’ll be like losing you all over again when they finally cut the number but I can’t... I can’t seem to bring myself to do that.”

——

“Why’d you have to go? Why’d you leave me? We were supposed to be together for the long run, Bo. Why’d you have to go and fuck that up?”

——

“I’m sorry about last night... I got angry again.”

——

“Kuroo invited me to a party tonight. I don’t know if I should go. It’ll be weird without you making it wild in some way. Without me bringing you home drunk off your ass and cuddle up on the couch cause you’re so sure that the stairs are going to eat you. It’ll be odd but I should try. I’ve been alone for too long, I need to be social again.”

——

“I saw that guy that was at Kuroo’s party at the cafe today. He gave me his number... should I text him?”

——

“It feels weird... I know it’s not a date but it feels like one. We didn’t do anything romantic, just coffee and breakfast before we went to work. He said we should do it again. As friends. But, he keeps looking at me like he wants something more.”

——

“It hurts so much, Kou... I f-fe-fuck— I feel l-like I can’t b-breathe. I feel like I’m un-underwater. I need y-you. Please c-come ho-home. Ple-ase. Please, please, please come back. I d-don’t know h-h-how I’m s-surviving without y-you.”

—

“I’m sorry, I gave in. I just-I just needed someone. I feel so alone now that you’re gone and I couldn’t help but feel warm when he touched me. I’m sorry.”

——

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

——

Akaashi stares at his phone, eyes filled with unshed tears. It had been a year since he last called. Bokuto’s parents would have cancelled the number by now but he had to try one last time. He had to. 

Closing his eyes, he presses on the contact and raises his phone to his ear.

“Hello?” It was an unfamiliar voice. 

Akaashi snaps his eyes open, wiping at his nose. “Sorry! I uh— w-wrong number,” He stammers, quickly hitting the end. 

Akaashi stares at the contact, rubbing his eyes. The photo of Bokuto beams back at him. Akaashi smiles sadly. “Thanks Bo,” He whispers, scrolling down on the contact info.

“Keiji! Baby! We have to go!” Akaashi snaps his head towards the bedroom door and watches as his boyfriend peaks his head in the door way. “We can’t be late!”

Akaashi shakes his head, chuckling. “You mean you can’t be late or else Iwaizumi will get angry and throw something at you.” 

Akaashi’s boyfriend pouts, his shoulders dropping. “Yes! That’s exactly what I mean—wait... have you been crying? We can stay home!” Oikawa furrows his eyebrows, stepping into the room. 

Akaashi sighs, standing up and walking over to Oikawa. “I’m fine, I was just... calling a friend.”

“Are they okay?”

“Yea! Yea, they’re... fine,” Akaashi grabs Oikawa’s hand and tugs him down the hall. “Let’s go before it’s not only you that gets yelled at.”

Akaashi looks back down at his phone where an alert was on screen. 

‘Are you sure you want to delete ‘Bokuto Koutarou’ from your contacts?’

Akaashi smiles as he hits yes and locks his phone, letting himself get dragged along with Oikawa.


End file.
